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• Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps’s announcement that he will come out of retirement and compete in the 2020 games in Tokyo. We love a sweetly styled pooch, but our beauty counter remains just for you. • The rental car company Alamo‘s new fleet of “Self-Vacationing” vehicles that serve as personal concierges for drivers.Introducing Bloomingtail’s, our luxurious spa for your pampered pooch. #talltail A post shared by Bloomingdale's (@bloomingdales) on • Georgia Tech’s online degree, a “Master of Science in Gadgets” in which students will be given “a 28 gallon crate full of miscellaneous broken electronics, cables, machines, and tools,” and are required to “fix at least 70% of them” to graduate. • Siri knows users are trying to mess with the Apple voice-command feature. • The fake spelling test given by Joe Dombrowski, a teacher at Oakland Elementary School in Royal Oak, Michigan.Some sites are completely free and depend on advertising for revenue.

• The Pittsboro Police Department‘s certified narcotics detection feline “Officer Clovis.” • Groupon’s “flat Earth” globes, designed to “help truth-seeking customers better understand the breathtaking horizontal plane we call home.” For the back story to this joke, read this story on the celebrities who have recently revealed that they think the Earth is flat.

• Roku‘s “Snack Suggest” feature, which recommends TV shows AND the best snack foods to “binge” on while you’re “binge-watching” them.

We’ll be offering canine contouring, posh blowouts, doggy massages, and more. (CBS Detroit published a full list of the bogus words online.) • Bob Evans’s beauty line offering a “farm to body experience.” • COFFEEMATE has a coffee-flavor COFFEEMATE brewing.

• “Sofia” the first “smart sofa” by home goods site Wayfair that features a voice-recognition system that can read out the owner’s calendar and built-in parental controls that can correct rowdy children and pets that may start jumping up and down on it.

• The magenta T-Mobile ONEsie, the wireless company’s foray into wearable tech that lets it monitor vital signs and sleeping — in addition to how much data your phone is using.

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